Things I'm learning about life

So often in life we think we know what other people want from us in relationships, be they parent / child, husband / wife, friends, and we often make decisions that we think are in their best interest, only to find out that we haven't actually taken the time to stop and ask that person what they really do need from us in that situation. I've learned now that we need to always ensure that we keep the lines of dialogue open.

We also have to learn to give what we want to receive in our relationships. If you want love, affection, attention, understanding, the be bold and give it first. It allows others a chance to open up and give us what we need in return. I suppose it is a case of lead by example.

All the things I enjoy about being single

• That first fart as you climb out of bed
• Hogging the bath or shower when ever it suits me
• Running round naked (with the curtains closed of course)
• Howling at the moon on my way to bed
• That tasty burp after a coke or beer
• And then there's the burping contests you have with yourself.... you always win
• Eating till you pop and undoing your zip
• Watching my favourite DVD's ad nausium
• Having all the animals sleep in my bed
• Playing on my laptop all night long
• Piling up dishes till I'm down to my last plate.... and then buying take aways
• Spending the day in your PJ's without being sick
• Those crazy sad howling songs you sing to yourself when you are feeling all alone
• Not having to shave every Friday
• You can always win an argument...with yourself
• Eating Pronutro for dinner when you're too lazy to cook

Author - Anonymous

If God had "Sick Days" and needed to take time off work

If God had Sick Leave and needed to take “time off for stress”,  then a “conversation with God” - might go something like this ~

From Ronwyn:   Dearest God:   “Please help I need some assistance managing my work load and stress today.  I’m kaput and feel sick to my stomach.

From God:  “Hi Ronwyn,.  Need to take a rain check on this one.  Am having a Benylin day and unfortunately some of the Angels are on strike over the Juju Malema Trial.  Yes, it seems that those angels who have been hard at work answering Julius’s prayers are “de Moer in” over the guilty verdict.    

To make matters worse, old Saint Paul wants overtime for managing the Pearly Gates at night now and yesterday Satan managed to get an entire troop of demons smuggled into the Garden of Eden.   

With the demons running amock in the Gardens,  my remaining flock of Angels have also gone on strike since those were the ones answering prayers on behalf of our “gun shy Boer’s” out there and they’ve now taken it upon themselves to seek out greener pastures since rumour has it that pasture-lands are going to be up for grabs pretty soon.      

As if this was not enough,    the Holy Spirit went off suddenly on sabbatical (I’m sure he received a tipoff from the Omnipitent forum) and

frankly Three in One is just too much for me to handle today. 

Hang in there, say your Hail Mary’s and call me tomorrow.

Fond regards, GOD.

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